From 1 to 8 October, it is the Week against Loneliness. A subject that touches me deeply. It is also a subject that I find difficult to discuss, even to write down, let alone share. It often comes up and I have also discussed it. often enough tucked away again. The Week against Loneliness seemed to me a good moment to share something about this, if only for my own process and to let others know that they are not alone in this.
My story begins at primary school. As a small Asian girl who could not find her way around a school with mainly children of Dutch origin. It is the context in which I grew up and in which my loneliness actually began.
Because I have always felt different and tried to resist this (mostly unconsciously), I adopted a certain attitude in order to belong. This worked out quite well, because in secondary school and afterwards, I had a great time. I was rebellious, I explored the boundaries, I enjoyed most moments, travelled the world, saw the most beautiful places, but somewhere deep inside I did not feel truly at home and connected to anything (read about it in my previous blog). And I think that also made my loneliness come up again and again. Something that was very painful and felt like a great loss, and which I unconsciously 'fled' from time and time again.
Loneliness: what is it?
Because what does loneliness really mean? Before I answer that question, I am curious to know how many people can identify with the following question. Have you ever felt lonely when you were in a group?
I received this question during my yoga classes, where on average 9 out of 10 people raised their hands. 9 out of 10, that is really high!
This also means that it is a big topic that affects many people. Of course, there is a Week against Loneliness for a reason. After all, loneliness is not only found among the elderly, but increasingly among young people.
Loneliness is a feeling that we allow to grow internally and which we try to put away by not being able to see it. external fillingso that we don't have to feel it. But something that you constantly try to put away will explode one day, and the moments will become more and more painful.
Loneliness is not feeling connected. You experience it lack of a close emotional bond with others. Or you have less contact with people than you would like. Loneliness is associated with negative feelings of emptiness, sadness, fear and meaninglessness, and with physical or psychological complaints.
Solitude as strength
Now that I understand this better, I also know how to solve my own loneliness. For years, I have felt disconnected from myself and my surroundings. Loneliness is for me, besides something sad and painful, also something positive. Loneliness has brought me to where I am now. Loneliness has brought me Learned to trust myself and go for who I am.
Because feeling lonely at times also ensures that you become detached from external stimuli. So that you can really turn inside yourself to realise who you are and what you wantwithout the opinion of others. Because ultimately you have come here for yourself and you can live your life as you wish. How nice that is!
Contact me if you would like to go out to lunch one day and feel a little less lonely. I would love that! And even if you don't feel lonely now, just being together is nice too. Please send me a message or call: 06-33976369.
Love, Thanh
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